Note: This came from a challenge I issued on the zendom mailing list. Put your spam to use and write a fic from it. The idea came Satirewire.com, which actually hosts a contest of this kind every year.
****
To: LtHelmboy@voyager.com
From: Sassy_Chick@dm_aq.com
RE: How to Succeed In Tough Times.... Look Here!
Dear Thomas Eugene Paris,
We have come into some
information
regarding your DQ situation
We understand things might not be good
but we'd appreciate it if you could
Please take a look at the
below
because you never know
What you may lack
When you finally get back
Just think what you left
Late Fees? Massive Debt?
High Interest Rates?
A bevy of spurned dates?
Perhaps before you went
you had High Monthly Payments?
Or did you suffer from stress too
Because someone might sue?
Please note the Limited
Supply And Selling Out Fast
If you don't act, it might not last!
So we beg of you not to delete
These offers you cannot beat!
BE ORDAINED NOW within 48 hours
Decorate a hall, a church, a house, with flowers
Because As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites
of marriage at a million different sites!
MARRY your BROTHER, SISTER,
or your BEST FRIEND!!
Don't pause, don't hesitate, because this offer will end
Don't settle for being the BEST MAN OR BRIDES' MAID
You can be the guest of honor and get PAID!
If this offer isn't for
you, maybe this one will help
This POTENT Pheromone Formula will make them yelp
Men and Women To Attract Members
of The Opposite Sex they will Always REMEMBER!
DO YOU WANT TO LAST LONGER
IN BED?
With this formula you will no longer see red
WANT TO BE THE SUPERSTUD YOU ALWAYS DREAMED OF?
Try this POTENT Pheromone and they will fall in love!
A University Diploma is
waiting for you!
No required tests, classes, books or interviews
Open enrollments means you're ready for the program
No admission standards because we don't give a damn
Just call us Toll Free
at -877.269.3892-
That's all you need to do
I encourage you to try it for 30-days.
You'll see that our program really pays.
On a personal note, how
is the ship?
We've heard your fortunes took a dip
If you'd like to pass our offer on to the crew
We don't mind and prefer that you do
Please REMEMBER our unconditional
guarantee
Our investments offer a FULL RETURN on your money
We are so HOT and And We CANNOT WAIT!
So hurry up and don't be LATE!
XOXO,
Sassy Chick
Marketing Director
If you have any questions
of the legality of this program, contact the
Office of Associate Director for Marketing Practices, Federal Trade
Commission, Bureau of Consumer Protection, Washington, D.C.
(Note: To avoid delays make sure appropriate postage to Canada is
applied if mailing from the US)
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