Unrequited

By Seema

Based on the episode, "Crossfire."

Characters and places belong to Paramount. No actors were harmed during the writing of this story.

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He says he loves her.

And I can only respond to him in ways that are polite while inside I feel anything but.

Out in the corridor, away from the oppression that is Shakaar, my breath comes in short gasps.

He loves Kira and wonders if she feels the same?

I too wonder what Kira feels but for oh so selfish reasons.

Only a few hours ago, Kira stood next to me, looking radiant.

"You never wear your belt," she said.

"I had no use for it," I said. And then, jokingly, I said, "I don't need it to hold up my pants."

Kira glanced at me sideways, her eyes twinkling.

"It looked good on you," she said. And then, in true Kira fashion, she had stood ramrod straight, her expression fixed on a far away point.

I wondered then what she was thinking, whether she was hiding something from me just as I was hiding my feelings from her.

But Shakaar caught her attention then, he the consummate politician and soldier, and then Kira was gone from my side.

I had watched them interact, envying their closeness.

Someone had said that it was easier to be a soldier than a politician; Kira had once voiced that opinion back in the early days when the Federation had first come to Deep Space Nine.

"They are strangers," Kira had growled. "They know nothing of us, of Bajor… you and I, Odo, we understand."

I had watched her stomping around what was to be the new commander's office. There was a fire in Kira Nerys then – a fire unrestrained by rules and a passion for justice that continued undiminished despite the withdrawal of the Cardassians.

Kira had turned and stared at me, "Promise me you won't go, Odo. Promise you'll stay and help me deal with these Federation –" she was so worked up she could not spit out the rest of the sentence.

And I had promised that day to stay with her.

Little did she know that every bit of myself had tingled at her request, wild emotions bubbling up and flowing within me.

I had thought then that it was only a matter of time. Only a matter of time when Kira would feel for me the way I feel about her.

There are moments when I can look at Kira and know exactly what thoughts are running through her mind; I can tell what a certain glance means or what emotion hides behind an expressed sentiment. I doubt anyone else can read her as I do.

There are times when I feel her glance on me, her expression concerned, her eyes filled with a care rarely shown to anyone else. I know instinctively when she wants my support, in a room filled with Starfleet. Even after all this time, she still wants to know what I think before she makes a decision. Our eyes meet; if I had a heart, it would skip a beat.

These are moments which belong to us only and ones I treasure but are utterly unknown to her.

I wonder, as I let myself flow into liquid, whether Kira thinks of me as I do her; in every molecule of my being, I know the truth.

Shakaar asked if Kira loved him.

I have no doubt she does.

~The End~