People & places belong to Paramount with the exception of Emi Dane - she is mine. Other random people (Katy Dane, Dyns, Ensign Cartwright) are also mine.
This story is set sometime in the sixth season.
This story is dedicated to Sarah, for never laughing at me or my dreams and for always saying the right things, no matter how hard it might be to hear the words. Even long distance, you are the best and dearest friend anyone could ask for.
Originally written sometime in 1998. Reformatted 01/01/01
She was standing on the terrace, her dark hair streaming down her back - a nice contrast to the red dress she wore. He paused for a moment, admiring her silhouette against the setting sun. San Francisco in the spring time, he thought, was beautiful.
He cleared his throat and Emi turned. She looked exceptionally beautiful tonight and that, Julian thought, would make it that much harder to tell her the news.
“Julian,” Emi held out a hand. Julian Bashir approached and took her hand. They kissed for a long moment and then broke apart.
sorry I’m late,” Julian said quietly. “I was held up in the lab."
all right. I was just admiring the view.”
is a lovely evening, isn’t it?”
it is. Beautiful and perfect, just like everything else in our lives,” Emi sighed,
nestling herself into Julian’s arms. “I can hardly believe that tomorrow, we
are graduating. Actually graduating. Can you believe it, Julian? We will be
commissioned officers tomorrow. It hardly seems real. After all this time and
work, we’ll actually be in Starfleet. Does it seem real to you, Julian? Because
it certainly doesn’t to me.”
it does not.”
make such a good team, don’t we, Julian? You are going to be the best doctor
ever and I’m going to be the best engineer. And we’re going to have a wonderful
life together in Starfleet. Imagine, exploring new worlds, discovering new things.
Life on a starship is going to be wonderful. More wonderful than we ever dreamed.”
cleared his throat, “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that.”
turned to face him, her dark eyes filling with fear.
depends,” Julian said.
been a change in plans, Emi.”
change in plans? What do you mean?”
won’t be coming on the Majestic with you.”
Emi screeched. “But we planned it, Julian, so that we could be together.”
Space Nine needs a doctor,” Julian said quietly. “I’m going.”
To that godforsaken rattletrap? Julian! I don’t believe this. How could you
do this to me?”
needs engineers there too. It’s all Cardassian technology, Emi, and they need
people to figure out how to work it, to meld it into Starfleet technology. We
can still be together.”
Emi shook her head. “I can’t believe this. We planned it all, Julian.”
planned it, Emi,” Julian answered. “You know that I’ve always wanted to practice
frontier medicine and now I have the chance. This is the post I’ve always wanted.”
can come too, Emi. I asked. I know you’ve always wanted to be on a starship,
but this could be interesting too. There is so much potential out there. We
just have to find it.”
shook her head, “I can’t, Julian. You know I can’t. What about Katy?”
still has another year here, Emi," Julian said. "That gives her plenty of time
to be assigned to Deep Space Nine. Your sister isn't a little girl anymore,
can't, Julian. I can't leave Katy and I can't see why you don't understand that.
You know how important it is for me to be near Katy."
is about what I want, Em, not just what you want."
is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous."
don’t want to fight with you, Emi.”
started to walk away, but Julian grabbed her arm.
doesn’t have to be the end of anything,” he told her. “I love you.”
have a funny way of showing it,” she answered bitterly.
know I would do anything for you.”
come with me on the Majestic?”
means you have to compromise.”
held out his hands, “Please, Emi? Just come with me.”
She did not answer, but merely walked off the terrace. Julian stood there, his heart beating faster than he ever thought possible. He considered giving up the Deep Space Nine posting to go with Emi, but then knew his heart wasn’t in it.Later that night, unable to sleep, he wrote a letter to Emi.
“Please forgive me,” he wrote. “You know I would do anything for you. And if you won’t ever speak to me again, I understand. I’m sorry I let you down this time, but if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. I promise you that I will make this up to you. I love you.” Julian signed the letter and then sealed it.
The next day at graduation, he searched for Emi but could not find her. After saying good-bye to his family, he dropped the letter into a mailbox and then Julian Bashir boarded the transport to Deep Space Nine.
“Your turn next,” Bashir said to Dax. The Trill pouted as she left her seat and took the darts O’Brien offered her.
aimed, missing the target twice.
guess that effectively wipes me out of the game,” Dax said with a smile.
did that on purpose!” Bashir accused. “No one is that bad at darts.”
merely offered him a cryptic smile and left the bar. O’Brien eyed the doctor
just you and me, sir,” O’Brien said. “And just because Jadzia let you win that
round doesn’t mean I’ll let you off that easy.”
never doubted it, Chief.”
played a couple more rounds before O’Brien had to beg off.
have to pick Molly up from daycare,” O’Brien said. “We’re going to spend some
quality father-daughter time together.”
will see you later then. We really should try that kayak program sometime.”
good, but I have to check with Keiko first.”
Bashir settled himself alone at a table and it was times like this he keenly felt the lack of a significant other in his life. Sisko had Kassidy, Miles had Keiko, Dax had Worf, and he could barely keep track of Kira and her various boyfriends.
Bashir sighed. It didn’t have to be this way, he reminded himself. For a moment, he thought about Emi, recalling how beautiful she had looked the last time he had seen her. He wondered where she was now, if she had forgiven him yet.
Bashir was startled out of his reverie.
eyed him suspiciously, “What you’re thinking, is it serious?”
Just musing about what might have been.”
Well, are you going to buy something? Because if you’re not, I need the table.
A very important customer just walked in.”
sighed and stood up, “No, you can have it. I was just leaving.”
walked out of the bar, feeling very alone indeed.
“You’re in perfect health, Captain,” Bashir said the next morning as a rather reluctant Benjamin Sisko got dressed. “I can’t find a thing wrong with you.”
wonderful news. I told you there was nothing wrong with me.”
but Starfleet Command has to hear it from me.”
sighed as the captain left; with all the senior staff physicals due into Starfleet
Command, it promised to be a very long day.
“Rough day, Julian?” Jadzia asked sympathetically, as he plunked down in the seat opposite her.
“You were the easiest patient today,” Julian answered. “Miles kept talking about some pylon going down and how he absolutely had to fix it and Worf would not sit still for a moment. As for Sisko, don’t even get me started. I’m just glad I did not have to worry about Major Kira today; she is quite the patient.”
it, Julian,” Jadzia said, laughing. “No one wants to get their physical done.
It’s just so intrusive and you run so many tests.”
like to be thorough, that’s all. I’d like to say the staff at Deep Space Nine
is extremely healthy.”
“It’s good to hear,” Jadzia rose. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I promised Worf I would help him with something on the Defiant. I swear, sometimes I think he loves that ship more than me.”Julian shook his head as he watched Jadzia exit the replimat. Alone again, he thought. And then a familiar shadow crossed the doorway and Julian stared hard, not believing his eyes.
“Emi?” he whispered.
was indeed Emi. She looked the same as he last remembered her, except for the
hardness around her eyes. Something in life had not been kind to her, Julian
thought, and for a moment, he wondered if it was all his fault.
Julian said, “My God, Emi.”
you ask me to sit down?”
Julian indicated the chair Jadzia had just vacated. “How did you find me?”
asked around. You weren’t in the infirmary, so I asked where you most likely
you found me,” Julian laughed nervously.
look good, Julian. Older, but good.”
you. You are exactly how I remember you.”
didn’t leave things on the best of terms, did we?”
I missed you desperately, Emi. I was very sorry.”
too,” Emi lifted those dark eyes to meet his. “I was afraid maybe you weren’t
going to be here. Serving on the war front isn’t exactly the most requested
post these days.”
where I’m needed the most.”
can see that,” Emi leaned back in her chair.
what brings you here?”
was looking for you.”
can wait. Why don’t you show me around the station first?”
“This is Quark’s,” Bashir said. “We won’t go in there, but it’s a popular place to hang-out. A little on the shady side, but fun all the same. And this here is a Klingon restaurant. Makes a pretty good gagh, if I say so myself.”
You?” Emi appeared amused. “Back at the Academy, you could hardly tolerate Martian
cuisine, let alone Klingon.”
just say that I’ve acquired a taste for it.”
wonder what else has changed about you.”
than you think,” Julian said.
proceeded into the turbo lift.
Bashir commanded. “That’s where all the station’s main operations are carried
out. I can introduce you to everyone there.”
emerged in Ops and the first person Bashir glimpsed was Major Kira.
Bashir said. “I’d like you to meet Lieutenant Emi Dane, from the Majestic.
Emi, this is Major Kira Nerys, our Bajoran liasion to Starfleet and second-in-command.”
to meet you, Lieutenant,” Kira said genially.
it’s just plain Emi Dane,” Emi said quietly. “I left Starfleet two years ago.”
turned to Emi in surprise, “You did? Why?”
a long story. I’ll tell you about it later.”
it was nice to meet you, uh, Lieutenant, uh, Emi,” Kira said.
took a quick look around but did not see Sisko, O’Brien, Dax, Worf or Odo. He
propelled Emi back into the turbo lift.
introduce you to the others later,” Bashir said. “You’re right. We do have a
lot to talk about.”
The door chimed and Bashir roused himself from the couch where he had briefly fallen asleep.
is it?” he asked wearily.
Dax answered from the other side. Bashir opened the door and Dax strolled in.
I wake you?” she asked.
a nap. Long day.”
can I do for you, Jadzia?”
was just talking to Major Kira and I was wondering who your friend was. How
dare you keep her from me.”
don’t know what you’re talking about.”
"Don’t be ridiculous, Julian. Nerys told me everything. That she’s beautiful and used to be in Starfleet. I even know her name, so I suppose I could look her up. So, you could make it much easier on both of us and tell me everything.”
Julian rubbed a hand across his eyes, “Well, it’s like this. We went to Starfleet Academy together. She was an engineering student and we met at one of those terrible picnics that the Academy is always holding. We hit it off immediately. We were together for three years.”
never told me about this.”
not easy to talk about. We were supposed to serve on the Majestic together,
but I decided to come here instead.”
have been a difficult decision.”
was,” Julian admitted. “I never thought I’d see her again.”
was so angry the last time we spoke. And I don’t blame her really. You see,
we were supposed to get married.”
did get your last letter,” Emi said quietly. She had stopped by Julian’s quarters
long after Jadzia had left. “I cried for days. I read it over and over. I think
all the ink ran eventually from my tears.”
shook her head, “It’s been five years, Julian, but seeing you now, it feels
like no time has passed at all.”
not the same people, Emi.”
know that and I’m not here to ask to start over. It’s too late for that.”
did you leave Starfleet?”
sighed, “I knew you were going to ask about that eventually.”
sister died in a border skirmish two years ago. And I just lost everything.
You know how close Katy and I were. It was like with her gone, I just had no
reason for anything. So I turned in my commission and I went to live on Vargas.”
am sorry to hear about Katy.”
smiled sadly, “I think about her often and I know she would approve of what
I’ve done. Vargas is perfect for me and I think Katy would have liked to have
been there too. Instead, she died in some meaningless border dispute even before
she got a chance to live and I guessed, in a way, I blamed Starfleet for that.”
at Vargas, I’m healing. Slowly, but surely.”
don’t know much about Vargas.”
a beautiful planet settled by humans about a hundred years ago. It’s very peaceful;
we don’t believe in war or weapons and that’s very important to me. We get very
few visitors and we are completely self-sufficient. I’ve been developing a cloaking
device for the planet. It’s a grand project and I’m very close,” Emi’s eyes
took on a shine. “We want nothing more than to just disappear from this universe,
to be left alone. The cloaking device will allow us to do that.”
sounds like an impressive project. But then again, you’ve always had such big
ideas. I guess I always loved that about you.”
smiled, the color rising in her cheeks.
haven’t said what you’re doing here yet,” Julian reminded her.
here, Julian, to collect on your promise.”
eyed her with trepidation, “Promise?”
your letter, you promised to make it up to me. That if I ever needed you, you
would help me. I need you now.”
“What is it?”
a plague on Vargas. Something dreadful. Our doctors are stymied, they don’t
know what to do. So I’m here to ask you to come with me to Vargas and help.”
isn’t a Federation world.”
know that. I’m asking you as a friend to help me. I’m asking as someone who
past tense of the word “loved” was not lost on the doctor and he felt that pang
of guilt inside again. Their eyes met and he knew Emi was daring him to turn
his back on her. Again. No, he thought, I won’t let her down again.
me talk to Captain Sisko,” Bashir promised. “I’ll see what I can do.”
all I ask.”
Sisko was playing with the baseball, which meant he was seriously considering Bashir’s request.
want to go to Vargas to treat this plague?” Sisko asked.
“Yes. It’s a promise I made to Emi, sir. I promised, whenever she needed me, I would help. She’s asking now. And I think it’s a plausible request, Captain. She says this plague is killing thousands and that it’s spreading out of control. And since it’s not a Federation world, she has no access to Federation medicine.”
that’s where you come in,” Sisko said. “Is that all she wants of you,
looked puzzled, “I believe so.”
will need a runabout?”
Rubicon, if it’s all right.”
Dax with you,” Sisko said. “You may need her help in piloting the runabout.
I hear the route to Vargas is littered with asteroid fields and other debris.”
you, sir. I appreciate it, sir.”
“You didn’t have to ask her to come with us,” Emi said sullenly as she and Julian settled into the runabout.
don’t have to worry, Emi. Jadzia and I are good friends, that’s all. Besides,
I think she wants to chart the Vargas system, so she’ll be busy for most of
not what I meant. I was hoping to have you all to myself.”
I went over the starmaps with Jadzia yesterday and it does look as if it will
be difficult to reach Vargas. We could certainly use her expertise in navigating
those asteroid belts.”
could have trusted me to do that, Julian.”
laughed, “Emi, flying was never one of your strong points. You knew your isolinear
chips inside and out, but flying was not something you excelled it. And don’t
give me that look; there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m not the world’s best
that moment, Dax entered the runabout.
I’m late,” she said cheerily. “Worf had a ton of things he simply had to tell
me now. You know how he is.”
all right,” Emi said curtly. Dax shot Emi a look and then shrugged.
has cleared us to leave anytime,” Dax said. “I estimate it will take us two
days to reach Vargas.”
all means,” Julian said. “Let’s leave.”
Dax smiled to herself as she heard Emi and Julian talking in the back of the runabout. It was nice to hear Julian sound so happy, she thought. Of course there was something about Emi Dane that Dax did not like. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but Emi made her feel odd.
It’s just your imagination, Jadzia, she told herself. Probably Emi had figured on having Julian to herself during this trip and was disappointed that Sisko had asked that Dax pilot the runabout. Dax wasn’t sure if Julian still had feelings for Emi; certainly, he had never mentioned her before.
As for Emi, Dax tried hard to read what the other woman was thinking, but it was difficult. One thing was sure: Emi Dane did not wear her heart on her sleeve.
“Ah, another day in the runabout,” Julian sighed and stretched out on the cot. “Makes you want to just open up the airlock and head out.”
glanced at Julian in amusement, “That could be fatal.”
wasn’t the time you and I did that near Mars. Remember?”
Emi’s face brightened, “Yes! I remember. Space walk was a required element for the Academy. I remember being absolutely terrified and you held my hand the whole time. I remember Earth looked so beautiful from there. After a while, I never wanted to return to the space craft.”
had some good times, didn’t we?” Julian asked wistfully.
very good times.”
I never did stop loving you. I want you to know that.”
know. And I never stopped loving you either. It was just too hard to keep it
up. And after what happened with Katy, I just wanted to disappear somewhere.
I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch with you.”
you came to me when it counted. That’s what’s important. You know I would never
let you down.”
entered the back cabin.
on autopilot for a while,” Dax informed them. “It’s going to take all my concentration
to make it through the asteroid belt, so I figured I would take a rest right
it’s not necessary to go through the belt,” Emi said slowly.
know, but the other way will add another day at least to our trip,” Dax answered.
“If the situation is as serious as you say, then we can’t afford to waste time.
Besides, I’m looking forward to the challenge.”
not what I meant. We’re not going to Vargas.”
gasped, “What do you mean?”
turned to the doctor, “I’m sorry to have lied to you, Julian. But there really
is no other way to get you here.”
is here?” Dax asked, trying to control her temper. Emi glared at the
would have been so much easier if you had left her behind,” Emi said quietly.
what are you talking about?” Julian demanded.
reached into her pack and pulled out a Starfleet-issue PADD.
are the new coordinates,” Emi said quietly. Dax took the PADD and stared at
is right inside Cardassian territory,” Dax said. She handed the PADD back to
Emi. “I can’t do that.”
Emi said. “You must. I’m begging you.”
eyed Emi and then Dax; he had never heard Emi beg for anything in her life before.
Dax seemed to consider for a moment.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“Tell me why we’re going.”
can’t then. If you won’t give me any information, I have to refuse your request,”
Dax said firmly. “In fact, Julian, I think we should return to the station.”
nodded, “I’m sorry, Emi. But Dax is my commanding officer. I have to obey her.
If she says we go back to the station, then I’m afraid, we’re going to have
to go back, unless you give us more details.”
Emi exclaimed. Before Bashir or Dax could react, Emi whipped out a phaser and
fired. Dax crumpled to the floor. Bashir glanced at Emi in shock before kneeling
beside his friend.
you crazy?” Bashir screeched.
not dead. It was set on maximum stun, that is all.”
all?” Bashir shook his head. “Emi -”
won’t hesitate to use this on you, Julian,” Emi said. “Now, enter the coordinates
for me please. You’re right, I’m a terrible pilot and I need you to take us
glanced down at Dax and then at Emi.
happened to you?” he asked quietly. “What happened to the Emi Dane I loved?”
more questions. Do as I say. Now. Or I will kill her.”
“Nothing from the away team,” Kira said. Worry creased her face as she once again tried to hail the Rubicon. “It’s been three days now. Surely we would have heard something by now.”
nodded, “I told both Dax and Bashir to contact us the moment they reached Vargas.
I know Vargas is a fairly private world, but still, they would have sent us
a message. When was the last time we heard from them?”
early morning,” Worf said. “Dax sent a message that they were three hours from
the asteroid belt.”
face turned ashen, “You don’t think?”
is an expert pilot,” Worf said slowly.
we should check it out. Kira, you and Worf take the Defiant out,” Sisko
sir,” Worf nodded as he followed Kira into the turbo lift.
“Careful,” Bashir said, helping Dax to sit up. “You’ve got some serious burns.”
you have anything for the pain?” Dax asked.
Bashir pressed a hypospray against her neck. “This should help.”
nodded gratefully and collapsed against the wall.
friend is quite a piece of work,” she said quietly.
looked into the other cabin, where Emi was at the helm.
am sorry about this,” Bashir said. “I had no idea.”
I don’t blame you. Though, I have to tell you, phaser burns are not my idea
of a good time.”
is some good news though,” Bashir said. “She has volunteered some information.”
are we going?” Dax asked.
planet called Delta IV.”
Cardassian world?” Dax frowned.
she told you why?”
seems very angry.”
sighed, “That’s an understatement. Dax, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression
impression would you like me to have, Julian? Because I’m open to suggestions
had a rough time in life. Her parents both died when she was barely in her teens
and she had the task of raising her sister, Katy, alone. Katy died two years
ago while serving as an ensign on the Malinche. I don’t think Emi
has quite recovered from the blow.”
that’s no excuse to lie to us,” Dax said. “She came looking specifically for
you, Julian. Why?”
made her a promise once. I couldn’t go back on it.”
going to happen now?”
have no idea. She hasn’t told me anything, but I have a feeling the situation
is desperate. She does need a doctor, but certainly not for a plague on Vargas.”
runabout lurched, throwing Bashir across the room. Dax groaned as she slammed
into the wall.
was that?” Bashir scrambled to his feet and headed into the other cabin. Emi
turned to him, panic in her eyes.
a Cardassian freighter. It just fired on us,” she said in a very small voice.
don’t know,” Emi said brokenly. She buried her face in her hands and for a moment,
Julian could see the woman he had once loved so passionately. Dax came in.
she told Emi brusquely. “Let me take over the helm.”
Emi cried out.
you’re going to shoot me again?”
will return us to the station. I’m not going back there.”
runabout lurched again. Dax pulled up the damage reports.
are holding at twenty-eight percent,” she reported. “Julian, divert power from
the emergency systems to shields. I’m going to see if I can get us out of here.”
felt the cold end of the phaser pressed against the back of her neck.
will not return to the station,” Emi said coolly.
looked at Bashir and then said, “You will get no argument from me. Now, let
me try to get us out of here.”
“This is the last known location of the runabout,” Worf announced as the Defiant slowed. Kira moved to stand next to Worf.
sign of them? Did they go into the asteroid field?” Kira asked.
Worf sighed. “I have not picked up any debris.”
into the asteroid field would be a virtual suicide mission for the Defiant.
Kira considered her options for a moment.
for a warp signature,” she said finally. “There might still be some faint traces.”
nodded, “Beginning scan.”
The Cardassian freighter ceased its attack on the crippled runabout for a minute and Dax took the opportunity to escape the situation by firing up the thrusters for a two-minute jump into warp. After they were sufficiently clear from danger, Dax whirled on Emi.
you tell us what this is all about?” Dax asked.
do you mean you can’t?”
me?” Bashir asked quietly.
need a doctor.”
need a doctor or does someone else need a doctor?”
else. Someone whom I love very much.”
Vargas?” Dax queried. “What does that have to do with all this?”
visited there just before my sister died. I would like to return there one day.
But right now it’s not possible.”
do realize that Starfleet will look for us if we do not report in from Vargas,”
Dax pointed out.
won’t find us,” Emi said confidently.
I disguised the warp signature. They won’t be able to tell the runabout apart
from a Bolian freighter ship.
I might not be a great pilot, but I’m an excellent engineer.”
and Bashir exchanged looks. Emi raised the phaser menacingly.
I ask is that you save Dyns’ life,” Emi said quietly. “That’s all I ask. And
then you’ll be free to go.”
is Dyns?” Bashir asked, feeling a curious pang of jealousy.
did not answer.
The trio beamed down to the planet, and Dax immediately whipped out her tricorder. It was a habitual gesture more than anything else, but Emi knocked the tricorder out of her hand.
word’s getting to be quite a habit with you,” Dax said. “An irritating
the glance Emi threw at Dax, Bashir could tell that his former lover did not
care two credits for anything Jadzia had to say.
They were standing just outside of a house, a house with definite Cardassian architectural details. Bashir shuddered at the thought of being on a Cardassian world. However, Emi did not blink and instead headed right inside. Dax and Bashir followed her, exchanging looks of curiosity mixed in with anxiety.
a Cardassian guard greeted Emi. Emi barely acknowledged the man. The Cardassian
eyed the two Starfleet officers with distaste.
them be,” Emi said. “They have come to help Dyns.”
guard withdrew, bowing his head at Emi’s words.
with me,” Emi said. Dax and Bashir followed her up a flight of heavy wooden
There was a stillness in the house which was quite eerie; it was almost as if no one had moved in yet.
“This house is new,” Emi said conversationally as they proceeded down a dark hall. “I was looking for somewhere to escape to after Katy’s death, and I thought for a while Vargas was the answer. Now, it’s here. It’s very peaceful and we’re very rarely bothered here, thanks to the cloaking device.”
device?” Dax asked suspiciously.
Emi smiled. “I’ve perfected a way to cloak an entire planet. It’s been very
effective. Soon, I will share the technology with other planets who wish to
remove themselves from the affairs of the universe. Come, in here.”
room radiated light and warmth, a contrast to the rest of the house. Emi immediately
led the way to a bed and she sank down on her knees.
it’s me,” she whispered to the small figure lying on the bed. “I’ve come home,
baby, and I’ve brought someone to help you. He has promised to help you, Dyns.
Please wake up, baby.” Bashir moved to look at the small child and with a gasp,
he realized that the child was half-human and half-Cardassian.
Emi stood up. “This is Dyns, my son.”
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